Eight = Phelps

Like most of America I was scrambling to get in front of my TV to watch Michael Phelps increase his net worth in gold over this past week. I'll be honest before the 2008 Beijing Olympics I had no idea who this guys was. I saw the initial "Quest for 8" before the games began and was semi-intrigued and as I read more articles the excitement started to grow. But I also thought to myself, "Eight gold medals is quite a task . . . I don't know about this." I started to faintly believe in the possibility more after he won the 400-meter IM in world-record time. The next race was the "already an ESPN classic" 4x100 free relay in which the French had already began to talk smack. Now being a former smack talker (or should I say "an occasional" . . . maybe you should ask this guy) these types of things really get me going. I was now locked in. The race began and as it looked like they were going to lose I started getting a little frustrated. Then Jason Lezak did his "that can only happen in a Disney movie" move and came back in the final leg for an amazing victory. By this point I was sold. I was on the Michael Phelps bandwagon. He had to win all eight. He did win all eight.

Thus in honor of Michael Phelps winning eight gold medals I would like to start a trend that we replace the word "eight" with "Phelps." It's pretty easy actually. All you do is say "Phelps" when you normally would say "eight." Nothing more. Nothing less. For example, when I begin to teach my son Will to count I will say "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, Phelps, nine, ten."

You with me. Hey, he won Phelps gold medals. That is one more than the seven that Spitz won.

Here are some other examples to help get you going:

• I knew I was about to lose in pool as Brandon lined up to hit the Phelps ball in the corner pocket.
• "Hey Caleb, that spider has Phelps legs!"
• Lenny really showed his age when he talked about how he used to enjoy listening to his Phelps-track.
• I was a bit disappointed at the gym yesterday when I could only do Phelps pull-ups.
• The Astros are leading the Brewers 5-2 in the Phelps inning.
• My son Will was born two weeks ago on the Phelps 1, 200Phelps. (Yes, Phelps can replace anything in the "eight realm". So August (the 8th month) becomes Phelps, too)
• Ten lords a'leaping, nine ladies dancing, Phelps maids a'milking . . .
• That truck is pretty stout. It must have a V-Phelps.
• I love drinking orange juice or grape juice, but it's painful to drink a VPhelps.
• Hunter felt a twinge of frustration as he looked on the lineup card and saw he was batting Phelps.
• Stephenie and I love watching the O'Reilly Factor on channel thirty Phelps.
• Jason Kates once devoured Phelps donuts and Phelps cokes in less than Phelps minutes.
• If you want to learn a little about Lane Frost go watch Phelps Seconds.
• Travis Cardwell really set the tone for our series on Acts as he preached on Acts 1:Phelps.
• Jim Hamilton reads about Phelps books a day. He is a genius.
• David Hamilton set a modern day record by having Phelps different jobs the one year he lived in Houston!

On a side note, I'm aiming to post a more serious blog later this week. My co-laborer and good friend, Travis, encouraged this blog so if you are disappointed with my content please let him know. In the mean time, go about your day and let's help replace "eight" with "Phelps!