The Aftermath of Sarcasm
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. "
-Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
I have had an itch to write a book on sarcasm for the last five years, but if I am really honest with myself I know that I probably will never write a book. So thanks to this blogging craze I can sort of write a mini version of it here. Before I begin I must admit that I have been (and still am to some extent) a very sarcastic person. That is not said in a boasting manner, rather a disappointed, perplexed manner. I believe that sarcasm is killing our society and I want to leave Camp Sarcastic and begin loving people by speaking words of hope, edification, and encouragement. It is a struggle of mine, so as I type this I am typing in hope of becoming this person, so bear with me as you read.
The Ephesians 4:29 verse listed above was the first Bible verse I ever wrote on a yellow sticky note and placed next to my computer in college. I put in there with good intent, but after a few days it went from being a reminder to myself to just kind of blending in with the rest of my desk. It's novelty quickly wore off. The reason I was trying to get Ephesians 4:29 into my heart and applied in my life was that I was constantly getting myself in trouble through funny, sarcastic comments that I had become so good at. Instead of building someone up I found it easier to go for a laugh usually at that person's expense.
About four years later, I started volunteering with a youth ministry called Student Venture and I began to notice just how prevalent sarcasm was. I would sit in a student's home before we would get started with a Bible Study and just listen to the students talk to one another. The way the students spoke to each other shocked me. They were all friends, but they were so destructive and sarcastic in the way they spoke to each other. I used to think if a new High School student who was interested in checking Christianity out came to one of the Bible Studies that the individual would probably never come back. It reminded me of Gandhi when he said, "Jesus I like – it's his followers I can't stand." Gandhi saw the way that Christians treated one another and was turned off by their conduct. How many non-believers have we Christians discouraged in their journey of faith? Didn't Jesus say love should be the distinguishing mark of us being Christ-followers, not sarcasm? "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)
I don't want to limit this model of Christian conduct to High School students. Adults are just as bad. I was an outsider looking in with the High School students, but as I began to listen closer to my conversations with friends I suddenly realized that we were doing the same thing. Often today when you began to make fun of a person and are full of sarcasm in your conversations, it more or less corresponds to you and that person being "really good friends." When you reach that level it means "you are one of us" or "I love you." This sarcastic, destructive version of love is hardly the love that Jesus commanded us to share with "our neighbors."
TV has probably done a good job of demonstrating to us how to be funny and sarcastic. Popular shows such as Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, and The Simpsons (just to name a few . . . I'm not picking on these shows and I don't watch a whole lot of TV, but these serve as examples) are built around certain main characters who are very sarcastic and funny in the way they speak to each other. We watch these shows and laugh with them, but that is not where it stops. You see, it is funny to see someone get picked on with witty, sarcastic comments. We talk and act just as they do. With our family and friends we have replaced genuine edification with insults and sarcasm.
The words that we say can either build someone up or tear someone down. We must begin speaking words of loving that strengthen people. It is OK to joke around at times and have a little fun, but that should always be done in love. If we seek to build others up I'm pretty positive that our words would be radically different. It is good to always pause before the words come out of our mouth and say, "Is this going to build them up or tear them down?"
Maybe you are saying, "Come on, Billy, you are being too harsh." If you think that listen to the words of Jesus in Matthew 12:36, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken." One day we will have to stand before King Jesus and give an account for every word we have spoken. I am not condemning anyone, Jesus paid our debt on the cross, but I do want to honor Him and seek to bring Him glory and those do not take place when we cut people down all the time.
My prayer for myself and all followers of Christ is that we would begin to encourage each other and stop being so sarcastic and destructive with the words we say. There are plenty of things in this world that bring us down - a bad day at work, a broken relationship, an illness, our own insecurities, unexpected problems, etc. - and the last thing we need is to hear sarcastic, cruel words from the few people who truly love us.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." -Galatians 6:9-10
-Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
I have had an itch to write a book on sarcasm for the last five years, but if I am really honest with myself I know that I probably will never write a book. So thanks to this blogging craze I can sort of write a mini version of it here. Before I begin I must admit that I have been (and still am to some extent) a very sarcastic person. That is not said in a boasting manner, rather a disappointed, perplexed manner. I believe that sarcasm is killing our society and I want to leave Camp Sarcastic and begin loving people by speaking words of hope, edification, and encouragement. It is a struggle of mine, so as I type this I am typing in hope of becoming this person, so bear with me as you read.
The Ephesians 4:29 verse listed above was the first Bible verse I ever wrote on a yellow sticky note and placed next to my computer in college. I put in there with good intent, but after a few days it went from being a reminder to myself to just kind of blending in with the rest of my desk. It's novelty quickly wore off. The reason I was trying to get Ephesians 4:29 into my heart and applied in my life was that I was constantly getting myself in trouble through funny, sarcastic comments that I had become so good at. Instead of building someone up I found it easier to go for a laugh usually at that person's expense.
About four years later, I started volunteering with a youth ministry called Student Venture and I began to notice just how prevalent sarcasm was. I would sit in a student's home before we would get started with a Bible Study and just listen to the students talk to one another. The way the students spoke to each other shocked me. They were all friends, but they were so destructive and sarcastic in the way they spoke to each other. I used to think if a new High School student who was interested in checking Christianity out came to one of the Bible Studies that the individual would probably never come back. It reminded me of Gandhi when he said, "Jesus I like – it's his followers I can't stand." Gandhi saw the way that Christians treated one another and was turned off by their conduct. How many non-believers have we Christians discouraged in their journey of faith? Didn't Jesus say love should be the distinguishing mark of us being Christ-followers, not sarcasm? "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)
I don't want to limit this model of Christian conduct to High School students. Adults are just as bad. I was an outsider looking in with the High School students, but as I began to listen closer to my conversations with friends I suddenly realized that we were doing the same thing. Often today when you began to make fun of a person and are full of sarcasm in your conversations, it more or less corresponds to you and that person being "really good friends." When you reach that level it means "you are one of us" or "I love you." This sarcastic, destructive version of love is hardly the love that Jesus commanded us to share with "our neighbors."
TV has probably done a good job of demonstrating to us how to be funny and sarcastic. Popular shows such as Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, and The Simpsons (just to name a few . . . I'm not picking on these shows and I don't watch a whole lot of TV, but these serve as examples) are built around certain main characters who are very sarcastic and funny in the way they speak to each other. We watch these shows and laugh with them, but that is not where it stops. You see, it is funny to see someone get picked on with witty, sarcastic comments. We talk and act just as they do. With our family and friends we have replaced genuine edification with insults and sarcasm.
The words that we say can either build someone up or tear someone down. We must begin speaking words of loving that strengthen people. It is OK to joke around at times and have a little fun, but that should always be done in love. If we seek to build others up I'm pretty positive that our words would be radically different. It is good to always pause before the words come out of our mouth and say, "Is this going to build them up or tear them down?"
Maybe you are saying, "Come on, Billy, you are being too harsh." If you think that listen to the words of Jesus in Matthew 12:36, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken." One day we will have to stand before King Jesus and give an account for every word we have spoken. I am not condemning anyone, Jesus paid our debt on the cross, but I do want to honor Him and seek to bring Him glory and those do not take place when we cut people down all the time.
My prayer for myself and all followers of Christ is that we would begin to encourage each other and stop being so sarcastic and destructive with the words we say. There are plenty of things in this world that bring us down - a bad day at work, a broken relationship, an illness, our own insecurities, unexpected problems, etc. - and the last thing we need is to hear sarcastic, cruel words from the few people who truly love us.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." -Galatians 6:9-10
posted by billy newhouse at
12:31 PM
1 Comments:
Billy,
I appreciate your honesty here. Many people would have to actually learn to have a conversation if you took their ability to be sarcastic away. We need to pray for a renewed mind that produces words that are life-giving. Thanks for the encouragement.
TBC
By
Travis Cardwell, At
2:09 PM
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